R.E.S.P.E.C.T just a little bit

What are some ways nowadays of how people disRESPECT God? Well God has given us himself in the form of the Eucharist. If the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of our Lord then we better RESPECT Him in it. Also we should RESPECT the liturgy, Mary, and the Saints because it is along with these people and practices that we enjoy the fullness of God's presence and love in heaven.
One important way to show RESPECT for the sacrament of the Eucharist is to fast for an hour before Mass and to receive it in a state of grace. It is important that we prepare ourselves for the Eucharist like we should prepare ourselves for heaven. Because in both we receive the fullness of God. Also we can dress appropriately to Mass. Wearing clothing that could be distracting to our brother or sister in the pew behind us is not helping them to focus on the Lord. Also by taking time to prepare ourselves to look nice and to go the extra mile to be groomed and presentable is pleasing to God and also befits us because we know that we are pleasing Him. Quieting our hearts and minds and removing distractions from our minds helps us to remember that we are in the holy presence of God.
All of these things take preparing. They all are forms of fasting because we are removing distractions between us and God.

page 272
question 1

The Prophets and the Hope for Restoration of the Kingdom

After the Southern Kingdom was exiled to Babylon they were set under the rule of King Nebuchadnezzar. Daniel was one of the people sent into exile. He also had the gift of interpreting dreams. So when the Nebuchadnezzar had a dream about a statue with a gold head, silver upper body, bronze lower body, and iron and clay feet he called on Daniel to interpret the dream. The golden head represented Nebuchadnezzar, the silver body was an inferior kingdom that would come after him, and after that kingdom would come another kingdom inferior to the second represented by the bronze, and then would come a kingdom that would be more powerful than the first three represented by the iron. However in the dream the statue was destroyed by a rock. The rock destroyed the iron kingdom as well.
What I find really interesting is that the four kingdoms actually existed. They all took over Judah at one after the other. First the Assyrians represented by gold, then the Persians represented by silver, then the Greeks represented by bronze, and finally the Romans represented by the iron and clay feet. The Romans are the most interesting because they were in controlled during Jesus' time. They were the most powerful like iron. But the rock, aka Jesus, was stronger still and ended up using the Roman's already established empire to His advantage in spreading the message of the new kingdom that wouldn't be reign by any earthly power. but would be found in heaven.

page 260
question 2

Goodness, Gracious

Well... after reading this question I realize how much like Jonah I am, or at least how I am in the same position as him. There have been so many times in my life where I have had a chance to talk to someone about Christ or invite someone to experience Him. What is sad is that I was and am selfish and prideful about my faith and cared little about that person because he or she bugged me. Well, Jonah had it worse. The people in the city of Nineveh were horrible and their armies had destroyed the Northern tribes. Jonah didn't like them at all, he didn't want them to be saved from God's wrath. So when God told him to tell the people of Nineveh to repent Jonah ran away, not because he was afraid, but because he hated them. But eventually Jonah reluctantly went into the city and the people repented.
Once a someone came up to me and asked me about a retreat that I went on, he also wanted to go. I didn't like this person and I thought he was wanting to be apart of something that was rightfully mine. Of course the experience of God is for me, but it is also for everyone else. I told this kid that he didn't belong with us and that it wasn't for him because I didn't want him steppin on my grill yo. So he didn't go. I was an idiot and God was probably very upset. That was a long time ago, but there are still times today that I don't invite people to be apart of the Body of Christ. It is a horrible thing to do. So yeah... I QUIT!!!!

page 238
question 3

God's Plan for His People

Throughout time, since the dawn of man, God has grown humanity. But also since the fall man has been broken. Humanity continued to be broken into two groups, the followers of God and those who didn't. God generally kept His early followers at a distance from other nations and people who would drag them to sin. We know however that Jesus came for all nations, the whole world. This included the Gentiles. This is why it is significant that the Temple that was planned under David's rule and built under Solomon's was actually built by another nation before Jesus had come to save the world. The fact that they did build the Temple is a foreshadowing that they will be excepted into the new Temple, the Heavenly Kingdom, Heaven.

pg. 220 question 2

The Ark and the Tabernacle

The Ark of the covenant carried the ten commandments, the staff of Arron, and I think manna, but I am not sure. Anyway the Israelites carried the Ark around in the desert. The Ark was a symbol of God's throne over the earth. The Ark had very strict rules and laws made by God on how it was to be made and carried, it wasn't even allowed to be touched! Once a man reached out to steady the Ark on a long journey to Jerusalem and he was struck down dead by God.
God has given us something just as special, if not more special, than the Ark. It is the Eucharist. And we hold the Eucharist in something much like the Ark called a tabernacle. Actually, as I was searching for an image to use on my blog I typed in "Tabernacle" and a ton of Ark pictures showed up. I think that they mean the same thing, maybe they mean "throne" or something. Anyway if the Israelites were suppose to respect the Ark then we better really respect the Eucharist. Because every time we receive the Eucharist we are receiving Christ. We are casting judgment upon ourselves by receiving the Eucharist. Therefore, if we are not prepare to receive the Eucharist and we do the consequences will be worse than the spiritual death that one of the Israelites received, it will be a spiritual death for us. Hell.


Practical Exercises #1, page 206.

Adam and Moses and such

So how are Adam and Eve's sin like the sin of the Israelites when they worshiped the golden calf. First God gave Adam and Eve one law, don't eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This was to protect them. God also gave the Israelites laws however they didn't make it down the mountain. The Israelites started praying to the false god, the golden calf, either because they wanted an excuse to pleasure themselves in immoral sexual activity or they lost faith in God, either way they turned their backs on the God who saved them from Egypt. In the same way Adam and Eve reject God by accepting Satan's demands and eating from the tree of knowledge. So basically they both sinned and broke the covenant with God by sinning.
Another way that these stories are similar is that the sinners are judged and punished. The Levities slaughter the idolaters and Adam and Eve are banished from the garden. Their lives become bound by rules. Adam and Eve have to toil and have painful births, while Israel is boxed in by new laws.
The biggest thing that these stories have in common is that they both turned away from God and God set rules in place to bring them back to Him. And for Tim's sake I will say Chinese Swiss Roll that is actually a Atom Bomb.

On Joseph and his Brothers, but not really.........

God is amazing. Last night some of my fellow students and I were talking about God and how He is so infinite and beautiful. We all came to the conclusion the He is so beyond our comprehension. Every sentence that came out of our mouths ended in a, "....I don't know, man..." or a, "like, wow". It is really funny to think about now, but then we were so in awe, it was very innocence and childish of us, because God is so much greater. Somethings that just stubbed us stupid were things like; God being outside of time and therefore not really making any decisions but just being, and He just is forever. "I am who I am," is the explanation that God gives us about Himself. So if He just is and always will be unchanging, than He is just an unmovable rock that our choices and decisions bounce off of, in a way. Let me explain better.

Okay, so God is like this rock. He doesn't change. If I do the same thing 50 times than the reaction from God will always be the same. Just like if I threw the same pebble the exact same way at the exact same spot on that rock, that pebble will react the exact same way. God is always forgiving and loving, however it is the way that we throw the pebble that effects what happens in this world. Life is an endless choice made up of countless choices that we make in our lives. By choosing the better of a choice we are choosing to create our life to be one step closer to the perfect life that God originally planned in the garden of Eden for us. So every decision also can bring us one step farther away from that. And every decision is unavoidable for us not to make, because by not making the decision we are deciding to not choose. Even not choosing is a choice.

So when Joseph's brothers throw him in a pit they have made a bad choice that leads them away from God. Then they are presented with another choice, should they kill their brother or not? They decide to sell him as a slave, yet another choice that sets them apart from their original purpose of human perfection. They are choosing to be imperfect. But even after they fail to achieve the gift that they have been given, freewill, they get another choice to turn back to the Lord. God being the unmovable rock that He is, always gives us that second chance. Just the fact that we are creatures of time means that we are given multiple choices. The next choice that could have been made by Joseph's brothers is to feel guilty. Then after choosing to feel guilt they can choose to realize their mistake, then choose to accept their mistake and so on. Eventually this process could have ended up in their sincere confession and when we sincerely confess God will always react the same way, forgiveness. And it doesn't stop there. We will have to make a decision after receiving that forgiveness and another after that, we don't stop choosing until we are outside of time like the angels. Which means that we must die and leave the chains holding us to time, our earthly bodies. Thank goodness for our bodies. These are the temple in which we are able to come back to Christ again and again. Anyway.....

Joseph's brothers had second chances, countless second chances (although I guess by saying countless second chances I really mean a second chance and a third chance and a fourth chance and a fifth.....), before the saintly actions of Joseph and the unchanging goodness of God brought them to Egypt looking for food. When they messed up they hit the rock in just the right place so that the pebble would ricochet toward a famine. Maybe I'm all wrong, but I'm thinking that God doesn't have a choice in the matter to bring them a second chance like this. Most people would say that God choses this to happen, but really we choose it because of our actions. Everything is our fault, and at the same time is God's fault, but how can you blame a rock for being a rock. Anyway, God is an awesome rock. He is perfect love and will never change. It is kinda unnerving to think that God doesn't choose to love us, but actually can't help it. He is just this love.... that can't help it. To me it makes Him less and less humanlike. Or maybe i am totally wrong and am going to fail this class for speaking heresy. So to anyone who has gotten this far I say unto thee, "It is my intent to speak the truth, however it is Professor Micheal Barber's duty and vocation to tell me to shut up if I am wrong. Check the comments section to see if he approves."
So the point of this blog was to answer question #3 in the "Practical Exercise" section of Chapter 6 of Scott Hahn's "Understanding the Scriptures". It is as follows:

"Joseph's brother committed a terrible sin when they intended to leave Joseph for dead and sold him into slavery in Egypt. God, however, used the situation to let Joseph assume a place of power in Egypt and eventually save his whole family from starvation. How does this story relate to the story of Noah? How does this story relate to the suffering and death of Jesus Christ?"

Well I am going to go out on a limb here and say Scott Hahn can't say that. He can't say that God used a situation to let Joseph assume a place of power in Egypt. God can't use! He can't anything, but be. And in being He does love and forgive and do everything that we know God to do, but he doesn't make the decision to set a plan into play. Okay, so basically I have said all so I don't have to answer the question listed in the text, but I will anyway. All of these stories relate to each other because they are stories of God's people in trouble and how that trouble is turned around to better us in the end. But I will say it again, that trouble only turns around not because God chooses to turn it around but because God is and "That's all folks." - Porky Pig

Creation and Such

I love the creation story! It offers and explanation for why we are the way we are and what is written on our hearts that we want to turn into, what we want to become.
The first sin of Adam and Eve is like every other sin committed by man. It is about choosing ourselves over God and others. It is selfishness. It is about taking rather than giving. Adam and Eve started out perfectly made. They lived the life that God had created for them. There was no other way for them to know how to live until Satan introduced them to the idea that God was deceiving them. It is so sad to see them fall into sin. It is sad to see anyone be less than what God created us to be. It is so sad that after being created and loved by a perfect being, Adam and Eve betray that love and turn to something that isn't as good, turn to love themselves and only trust themselves rather than the creator who made them. I realize that friends around me are falling into the same trap and it it really saddens me. Then I realize that the people looking out for me see me falling into that trap every time I sin. I wonder how hurt they are to see me ruin myself more. Then I wonder What God must feel like when I turn away from Him although His arms are open offering a perfect love.
Jesus, thank you for always being there with the full intention of bringing me to full happiness in You. Help me and my friends and family realize the beauty of Your love and the happiness and fulfillment that comes from it. No sinful moment is worth turning from You, Perfect One. You are so beautiful Lord. Life fits within Your law and I want to drop every worldly thing to make sure I reach the fullness of the creation that You made me to be. In the words of Natasha Bedingfield, "I love You, I love You, I love You".
Amen

Prayer:

Hello Readers and everyone else listening to the person reading this blog out loud,

It seems that there is some change in the wind on The Former Senator’s Blog. Recently Professor Michael Barber has asked his students to prepare a short, mental dissection on prayer. And because I admire this particular Professor of Theology and Catholic Thought I have decided to obey, also because I want to get an A or A+. Anyway these posts will be happening a lot, this one about prayer. Unlike my other posts I will pledge seriousness out of necessity of A.

I have often defined prayer as communication between God and man. After reading The CCC I have divulged a new definition, “Prayer is raising of one’s mind and heart to God or the requesting of good things from God.” I guess that my original definition was correct, however the Catechism expounds on it. After reading the selections Professor Barber gave us I was surprised by the new knowledge I had found besides the definition of prayer.

For instance, I was excited to see the progression of prayer through the Bible. Prayer, also defined by the CCC to be “search of God”, seems to me to be not necessary for Adam and Eve. Because if Adam and Eve were perfect and in full communion with God as God intended then why would then need to search for Him. Until the fall they were “good”. From there prayer starts very simply. One of Abraham’s first prayers according to the Catechism was building an alter. This was a prayer of action, which reminds me of a Saint Francis quote, “Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words.” Then Jacob wrestles with an unnamed being who blesses him. Jacob’s prayer did not take on words, but did come into closer physical contact with God. Moses encounters God in the form of a burning bush and then on top of mountains. His prayers seem like a conversation between himself and God. The idea that came to mind and that I am trying to explain is that God might have evolved prayer as He grew His people. It also seems to me that God can encounter His sons and daughters in different ways according to the way in which He created them.

Also another interesting thought that came up in my readings is that prayer was first made as an essential action in man much like breathing. To stay physically alive one must breathe and eat and so on. To stay spiritually alive one must pray. That is why Adam and Eve died when they ate of the fruit of the tree. Prayer was suppose to be easy and natural to humanity, now it is a struggle for us to pray since the fall. To get back to where we were spiritually in Eden, we need o be in prayer constantly. But besides prayer we need something else to live. “Unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood you shall have no life within you.” I think Jesus is talking about a spiritual death here.

I was forwarded a striking statement from Pro. Barber’s freshmen class, something to the effect of, “Abortion is a horrible thing, but at least they still have their souls intact. However the millions of teenagers who look at pornography may still have their earthly life, but their souls are dead.” That statement reminds me of the where my focus should be in the short life I have. Sometimes I forget where I could end up if I died, and I certainly forget the beauty and fullness of heaven as well. How wonderful it must be to experience the Lord for a minute? I can remember times in the past where my relationship with God was much stronger and my prayers were more meaningful and plentiful, and I remember the beauty of life and the joy and grace that entered my into heart. I can only imagine that sort of feeling of God’s presence forever. To know that I can reach closer to that peace and joy by prayer at any moment is encouraging to me, so I am going to stop typing and go appreciate the beautiful life God has blessed me with and raise my mind and heart to God.

A Story of a Senator

Recently one of my fans asked me a very personal question, why am I known by the world as the "Former Senator". As a gift to the audience, and this will only happen once, I will tell a actual true story about how I came to be where I am today.
After my conversion to the Catholic Church I attended Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio. Upon my first week I met some very strange but interesting characters. Patrick Mansfield was to be my roommate or "dorm partner" as we fondly called each other. He was a tall handsome gentleman from New Orleans , Louisiana. He was known to be quite the lady's man and at the time of his most complete masculinity he was known to sport a mustache.
Another jolly fellow was Timothy Danahar. Though many thought him a lunatic I saw through the invisible barrier of stupidity and understood the brilliance of the knightly hero. Responsible for assembling massive numbers to join local affiliations Danahar kept a stormy reputation as a public defender of the learned and as a robust consultant for gathering troops for our many escapees.
Like all great fellowships our homely gang needed an adventure of sorts to bring ourselves to legendary fulfillment. We happened upon our great adventure on the first Friday of our friendship. A poster was presented to our eyes on one of our daily strolls through the campus. The flier said, "Calling all gentlemen and ladies, the Senate is in need of brave souls to contest the wrath of President Patrick Reis." (JP students may know him as the friend of Martin Harold who came to visit him in the 1st semester of JPCU history). Being honorable men of heart we heeded the call and formed the Triumvirate Squad of Destiny. We modeled ourselves after the great Roman Emperors giving ourselves patron names of Julius Caesar, Octavius, and Pompeii. For the sake of political liberty and the lives of the Franciscan Student Body we ran the race and waged war against our opponents.
We used a variety of methods and tactics against our opponents. And I must say that we used everything we could to our advantage, for although these other candidates had good intentions ours were more important and better. We used the simple fliers and posters, but added a touch of political humor and intellectual philosophies to win the majority vote. Such sayings as "I was born in the eighties so vote for me ladies" and "Three heads are better than one" along with some cultural references from Zoolander "Vote for the really really really ridiculously good looking guys, instead of the ugly ones." or "Hungry? Grab a Collin". These fliers won many a ballot but we had more up our sleeves. Timothy suggested a dance party for the students. We agreed and at 8am we gathered in shirt and tie for a sophisticated ballet of mojo. The sidewalk was covered with spectators on their way to classes cheering as we united our cause to the rhythm of Ice Ice Baby and Hey Yah. Many other marketing techniques were used however our greatest weapon was our friendship. The unity of this deep relationship not only bonds the individuals that take part in it but also pulses into nearby humans and animals who notice the goodness and gracious of it. And so the student body united with us and under us.
Something that worried us was that one of us would be left out, for only three could enter into the convent of the Senate and there were 9 others competing against us. We could only hope that the friendship that brought us together would actually bring us through this race together. And when the bell finally rang it tolled for us, the amigos, the trinity of Trinity dorm, the boys from the hood, the Cinderellas of Stuebenville, the Triumvirate.
Now that you know were I came from and how that title was bestowed upon me I will take my leave once again. That is how I became a senator. As I left my home of Franciscan I left with the title Former Senator as an honor bestowed on fallen warriors and brothers in arms. I hope one day everyone may know the bond between man and friend as I did in the school year of 2005-2006.

Yours truely,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark the III

Coconuts

Coconuts are a large nut normally found in the South African coastal caves. No one knows on what they grow, however sources have seen them falling from ceiling caverns in the coastal rock caves. Tens of hundreds of coconuts are washed ashore on islands around the world. They are then captured and shipped to grocery stores. With this wealth of knowledge before you, you may be asking the same question that I am thinking. Where do coconuts actually come from?

The key here is the crevasses in the caverns in the coastal rock caves. The coconuts fall from these crevasses creating hollow noises and grinding sounds as they hit the stone and marble cavern floors. These noises echo out of the caves hitting the ocean waters. This answers one of the biggest and largest questions of our times. Where do waves come from? They come from the echoes children, they come from the echoes of the first coconuts to ever exist ever.

Can I prove to the world where coconuts come from? No, no I can't prove anything. I can't prove coconuts fall from cracks in South African caverns, I can't prove that there are crevasses in those caverns, and I can't prove that those caverns are actually in caves. But you know what else, I can't prove that Santa Claus is real either, but that doesn't stop us from believing does it. No, it doesn't. I can put all the chips on the table and all the eggs in the basket but you still have to choose whether you want to believe or not. Now this isn't Texas Hold'm, but if it was then I'd be all in.

Sincerely,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark III

Lazers: Their Problems and Coolness

Lazers have been around since the early middle ages. Their first known use was by King Richard of Hungry in the Battle of Los Arroz also known as The Day of the Corn. The King was under siege by his arch rival Sir Robin the Crow, a former senator turned turn coat. Sir Robin had constructed a large turtle made of bronze and coconut shells to use as a ramming device against the southwest corner of the castle.

lazers killing people in the movie "The Day of the Corn"

For four florescently moonlight nights the besieged suffered heavy losses one of whom was his wizard Dumbaldat who fell off the front of the castle from a shockingly large smack from the giant turtle. King Richard then pulled out his wand and preformed the killing curse, Avanaka, upon the hold army of bad guys killing them all, this was the first lazerized weapon ever. Sources tell us that he buried his wizard friend in a white tomb and mermaids sang at the funeral.

But lazers didn't just appear. We all know that lazers are used safely in every household for more than a century. Without them daily life could not go on without them. That would be tough.

Micheal Barber lazering things in his theology laboratory

Although we see them everywhere in our cars, in our fish tanks (Finding Nemo), our fossil fuels, or even unnoticed in our flashlights there are still unanswered mysteries surrounding lazers. Why do they kick butt? Who isn't the best? And what are they made of? Probably the biggest question is Why people don't run away in lazer tag when they are hit by them.


Industry Corps Press is a large company dealing with a large problem. How to make people run from lazers that don't kill.

What if you were suddenly surrounded by men with lazer guns and they all started shooting you. However they are toy guns not real ones. And say while playing with the toys the toymaker (aka someone hairy( not Harry as in Harry Potter (a book I just read( I being the hairy someone) ) ) ) wanted the lazers hitting your body to intiese (In-Tie-ssss) you to run away from the lazer toys and their wielders.

Solution #1
They are real lazers that kill people!

Solution #2
They aren't harmful lazers, but they do lock up joints in the victims playsuit causeing not movement in that particular area.

Solution #3
They cause a buzzing sensation like the one Steve Marshall experienced when he was at the toy store in North Carolina and screamed like a little girl upon being buzzed at by someone hairy.

Solution #4
The lazers turn people into zombies, not just when they hit victims but also randomly turning people into zombies just because they exist.

Solution #1 and #2 are either too expensive or immoral to be any fun, because spending money is not fun and neither is killing people. Solution #4 is cool, however it would be a lot cooler if the toys were around dinosaurs.

So the obvious solution is Solution #3.

Forever,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark III

All We Have Is Love

This is a true story:

Two young men where outside of the market place talking to a yippy puppy, named MaryPat. The men's names were Mario and Luigi. They were awaiting their ogre, Matt, to return from his shopping spree. As they waited a voice came from behind the wooden carts, "Ah, the leprechauns." Mario and Luigi we stunned, while the puppy always had a surprised look on its face since anything but strawberries surprises it. Needless to say, supriseness was happening.
A man appeared from behind the the wooden carts. He was a big, gross man, more like a troll than a human. Mario turn to Luigi and said under his breath
"He smells like a old shoes after you've mopped the floor of sweat."
"Yes." said Luigi.
The man stumbled toward the mustache men and yippy dog. He was drooling acid from his flimsy, toothless mouth.
"I am a Mexican. I am an Orick." he said.
"AN Orick!!!," exclaimed the little yippy dog.
"Yes I am, and I want to give you all hugs".
Seeing that his friends were not excited about getting hugs from the smelly mexican orick, Luigi stepped into his path recieveing the first giant hug. The orick smelled like a rotting pumpkin that collapsed on itself while sitting on some college kid's back porch and felt like it too. After about five minute of pain and punctual scents the orick let go of Luigi. Luigi's friends sat in horror as Luigi fell to the ground shivering and covered in an orange ooze. The orick then set his sights on the yippy dog but right when it was about to wra[ his grossly deformed arms around the poor thing Luigi stood between them and said with a grimace.
"How about another daddy O!"
The orick then spread his arms wide and closed them tightly on Luigi. Luigi with much effort slipped from the oozy embrace and took a couple steps away from his friends.
"How about another!"
The orick then moved toward him a gave Luigi another hug. Then Luigi did something unpresidented, he slipped out again! This continued for about ten minutes until both the orick and Luigi were both exhausted and standing at the edge of the historic Mount Olympus cliff face. Luigi had his back toward the edge while the monster was moving in for his final monsterous monsterousity of a hug. The monster loomed over him and his arms opened wide. The monster was so close Luigi could taste the pimples that pussed from its armpits. (Luigi would like the audiance to know that the puss didn't taste so bad, kinda like baklava. Baklava of course refering to lava off of the back of a lava monster that tastes something like poo.) Anyway he tasted it and it was gross. The arms started moving in and Luigi could hear the orick's arm bones groaning and cracking with effort. Luigi knew there was only one thing to do, it had only been done in overtime in the finals of the world tournament of Quittdich 1952 and now it was about to be done again.
Luigi threw his arms up in the air. As they were flying upwards they drew the attention of the orick. Big mistake! Time slowed down as the arms soared into the air separated from Luigi's body. Mario's mustache slowly floated to the ground in awe and the yippy dog stopped yipping. Luigi now armless, flung himself in a daring spiral under the orick's legs. The orick turned and looked down at Luigi who was know covered in mud and orange slime. Luigi smiled like a crafty fox who knew he had won a pot of gold from a American. The orick stunned that the likes of him would be destroyed was even more stunned when Luigi's arms came down upon his neck in a prefect two handed chop that would have made Chipper Jones proud. The orick fell. The groung shook from the weight of the mexican man/troll. I shook so much that the whole world felt it and were sad. The cliff edge cracked and crackled. Mario and Luigi stared at each other in horror. Luigi ran as fast as he could without arms away from the beast and certian death. But Mario ran toward the unconscious being.
"What are you doing!" screamed Luigi.
" I'm giving you a hand!''
Then Mario jumped on the orick and grabbed the limbs of his friend as they both disappeared from the yippy dog and Luigi's view.
"NOOO!!!!" Luigi said.
"YIPPPP!!!!" Said the dog.

The two friends sat. They sat hoplessly looking at the cliff edge of the gods.
"Why?! MOUNT OLYMPUS!! WHY?!" Said Luigi
No answer came. It has been said that mountains can't talk, nor can yippy dogs, but people have also said that a orick couldn't be knocked unconscious from a double karate chop. And they were about to be proved wrong again. OLYMPUS spoke. Spoke in a deep, powerful voice that would have defied kings from their thrones and the sea from its bed.
"Why not Luigi?"

Luigi was in awe. The yippy dog stared at the mountain peak as a shimmering light came down from above. A figure appeared in the blindingness. Luigi turned into the light and out of it appeared Mario. However Luigi's arms weren't in his hands, they were attached under each of his arms. Luigi's arms were no longer his.
"Don't cry Luigi." said Mario in a soft voice. "We always knew this was going to happen."
"Yes, we did. But it is still hard. I miss them."
"I know, I know. Come here and let me stroke your mustache with them, they miss you too."
Then Luigi moved toward Mario's outreached new hands. They stroked the thick mustache that they would be forever separated from. Then they parted. Mario and Luigi had many other adventures with each other and their friend the yippy dog. But for now....

THE END

Laziness and Potential

Okay so I'm really lazy and the things that i want to do or become I don't because I'd rather wait till tomorrow. That sucks. It is so depressing. I sit around and whenever I think about the work that I have to do I get upset and feel sorry for myself. It is so pathetic. But God is so beautiful and wonderful, because He has given me so much potential. I realized this while I was sitting in my cut offs getting depressed about homework and other things. "I have potential" I can be anything I want to become, except a woman. So instead of whining and feeling sorry for myself I did 25 push ups, opened my blog up again, started Derry Connolly homework, and will do another 25 push ups right now!!! Bam just did umm at 3:41 AM. It feels good! I feel better about myself and I'm happier with who I am!!! Praise God!!! I'm not even kidding.
Thank you Jesus for giving me the potential to be something better than what I am now. Thank you some much for the grace to get up off my ass even for just a moment to become who I wanna become. I have so much more hope now. Homework doesn't seem that impossible anymore. Thank you God!!!

Fernando

So I am sitting in Fernadno's class when he showed us a documentary called Quiters. It really inspired me to quit making blogs. People always say, "Wow, your blog really inspires me." or "Wow, I am inspired, a lot." I tell them that they are just being led astray by the evil media of the United States. Anyway Fernando's class also taught me that media on the internet should be short. Like this....

Thanks I quit,

FORMER!!!! Senator Collin Augustus Clark III

Golf Clubs

Today's lesson is the history and definition of golf clubs. I will be answering a few popular questions that usually arise when the subject of golf emerges from the mouth of some richy. Here are the most popular questions.

Question 1: Is golf a sport?

Answer: No way in Hell!!!

No golf is not a sport, nor is it a recreational activity, unless you call eating candy a recreation (cough, Lane family) Because actually golf was created as a form of dinning before it was ever used to mimic sports. The gold club as we know it now evolved from a jawbreaker-like candy to a jawbreaker-like candy on a stick, then the grip was added. The name jawbreaker actually came from two different traditional backgrounds, Asian and Australian. Before it ever evolved from a hard candy aborigines would use it to break the jaw of their cattle for eating. And after the animal was prepared accordingly it would be eaten with the "jawbreaker" and "tee" (we will get to this later). (Actually how about right now?) The Aussies drank a tee, a form of tea, that the English took with them back to Europe. Asian culture called it a jawbreaker because the South Koreans would send the young men out into the wilderness until they finished the giant hard candy as a test of manhood. If the male returned with a broken jaw he was cast aside to hang out with the women and wash dishes. (Rawickii 2007, pg56).

Question 2. Did golf come from the Devil?
Answer: possible

Did golf come from the devil? Well it is really tough to know for sure. We do know that a sinner by the name of Ralph Rascal did play golf on Sept 29, 1872. (Badfashion 1998, pg3) However forensic evidence can not yet prove or disprove if Rascal was actually using GLA (golfing league of america) regulated clubs at the time. We can say for sure that he existed and that the Devil is still at large. (at large meaning obese or fat).

Question 3. Is golf like a fashion or something?
Answer: Hell no!!!

Although my word should be enough for you I will give you a non-believer's position on the matter and let you make up your own mind. Molly Rawickii says in her book "Golf is Fashion and Other Things" that golf is actually a fashion among other things. Although it is a valid point there is no forensic evidence to prove her point. From what I understand about her she purposively shops @ thrift stores to buy owls because they are "cute" when really they are nocturnal birds. Although she does have fashion sense on most subjects I think it is best that we abide by golf's most ancient rule. Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden!!!

Question 4. Is stealing a golf club a sin?
Answer: Heck yeah!

In the ancient South Korean culture to steal a boy's jawbreaker was the same as stealing his future manhood, his future wife and children, and all of his possessions. Some even practiced that the soul was taken from the boy and put into the thief's dorm room where haunting and such occurred. The soul could only be taken into the after life by his jawbreaker being connected to a vacuum and sucking to soul into the appliance. When the thief was caught, because they always were, the golf club would usually be found in his "jeep" which is another word for really dirty horse. They would then toss him into the kitchen with the women to was dirty dishes.

So in response to these questions NO!!!, possible, NO!!!! where do you ppl come up with these questions, and HECK YES!!!.

Anyway that should be good enough for now....

The color Black and the new world market.

Dear Readers,
Today is the day that I talk about the color Black. Black isn't actually a color. It is a shade. It is a shade of a color. Something tells me that Black can actually be any color but just a really dark shade of it. So Green is actually not the color Red but a lighter shade of Black, and Red is also a lighter shade of Black as well. So with this in mind I will now talk about things which are the shade of Black.

If you happen to see my friend Jackie, you might say to yourself, "hmm that is a very pretty girl." But if you saw her in a Black dress or shirt or anything that is clothing and Black then you might actually find yourself saying, "hmmm that girl is really smoking," and it would be okay.

Now I actually have a friend named Tudi, or as I like to call him 2D. twodee Anyway he is a very dark shade of orange. And the shirt he is wearing is actually a shade of pink (notice the difference)
Not only is Tudi a very dark shade of Black, but he is into recording records with his company Vero Records. And records as we all know are Black.

Patrick Lyon is a friend who has a "interesting" haircut. Not only is it "interesting" but is it Black. Patrick is a very Black boy. But it isn't his skin shade that makes him this way. Black isn't only a shade but it can represent the shade of you orra (the feeling or smell surrounding a person). He and I play Gears of War and I always CHAINSAW him to death. We get along great! Because of the nature of his orra I named him "Patrick Black'' in my telecellphone.

I am not trying to say that Black is a good thing, I am just saying that it exists and that it should be kept cautious of. Some of the many friends I have, have ran into things because Black, or "dark" to be politically correct, was covering their eyes. Don't let this happen to you. Here are a few steps you can take to protect yourself against Black.

1. If you wake up and are surrounded by Black don't freak out and going running around. It usually disappears in the morn, thats California talk for morning.

2. If you happen to step in something Black don't eat it off your shoe. Call a doctor and see if it is eatable.

3. Carry a flashlight around, Black, or any dark shaded color for that matter, don't like it.

4. Try to make friends with it. If that doesn't work call a doctor and see if it is eatable.

Thats all folks

The Blog de Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark III

Today is a Tuesday and I am creating a blog. This will be the best blog ever because it will talk about world issues and won't care about speling, or proper grammer. I will mostly talk about love and such and also things of the nature of out of this world. This is going to be in direct competition with Micheal Barber's blog, he talks about God, and is my professor at JP Catholic, and has friendly competition with Tim Evan's blog, which is a significant blog of prestige. Now for my first topic of discussion. Babies.

Babies are created from a sperm and an egg. The sperm belongs to a man and the egg is the property of a woman. Sperm looks like this but there are alot more of them and some of them have goatees instead of cool shades. The baby is formed when one of the sperm drills into the egg like a drill. This makes the egg a little upset but the egg knows that it is nature so it lets it happen. Sometimes heated words are exchanged but mostly between the left out sperms and the sucsessful sperm. Things like "My life is over you jerk" or "I don't like you brother sperm" are said under the loser sperms breaths or out loud. So what happens to the left over sperm friends, where do they go? This was the question asked by my roommate, Josh, after I explained to him the Birds and the Bees. Needless to say I was in a Del-Emma. (a Del-Emma is a Spanish conjuction which means "of the Emma", Emma being a girl with really big, pretty eyes that you can see the starts in on a clear night.)

I had to come up with an answer that would show that the forgoten sperm still went on to live productive lives dispite their failures. So I came up with some very good answers that make actually have their roots in science or politics. I told him, "Some of the sperm will go grow longer goatees to make up for their lost manhood or just buy bigger shades. Some of them feel sad and will go listen to "Fix you" by Coldplay. Some get back on their feet and put on a little sticktoitivness attitude and charge the egg again but they usually get lost. The rest of the sperm start entrupernewial businesses.

Well I hope that you enjoyed this Research that I have put together. I uh..
Thanks