A Story of a Senator

Recently one of my fans asked me a very personal question, why am I known by the world as the "Former Senator". As a gift to the audience, and this will only happen once, I will tell a actual true story about how I came to be where I am today.
After my conversion to the Catholic Church I attended Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio. Upon my first week I met some very strange but interesting characters. Patrick Mansfield was to be my roommate or "dorm partner" as we fondly called each other. He was a tall handsome gentleman from New Orleans , Louisiana. He was known to be quite the lady's man and at the time of his most complete masculinity he was known to sport a mustache.
Another jolly fellow was Timothy Danahar. Though many thought him a lunatic I saw through the invisible barrier of stupidity and understood the brilliance of the knightly hero. Responsible for assembling massive numbers to join local affiliations Danahar kept a stormy reputation as a public defender of the learned and as a robust consultant for gathering troops for our many escapees.
Like all great fellowships our homely gang needed an adventure of sorts to bring ourselves to legendary fulfillment. We happened upon our great adventure on the first Friday of our friendship. A poster was presented to our eyes on one of our daily strolls through the campus. The flier said, "Calling all gentlemen and ladies, the Senate is in need of brave souls to contest the wrath of President Patrick Reis." (JP students may know him as the friend of Martin Harold who came to visit him in the 1st semester of JPCU history). Being honorable men of heart we heeded the call and formed the Triumvirate Squad of Destiny. We modeled ourselves after the great Roman Emperors giving ourselves patron names of Julius Caesar, Octavius, and Pompeii. For the sake of political liberty and the lives of the Franciscan Student Body we ran the race and waged war against our opponents.
We used a variety of methods and tactics against our opponents. And I must say that we used everything we could to our advantage, for although these other candidates had good intentions ours were more important and better. We used the simple fliers and posters, but added a touch of political humor and intellectual philosophies to win the majority vote. Such sayings as "I was born in the eighties so vote for me ladies" and "Three heads are better than one" along with some cultural references from Zoolander "Vote for the really really really ridiculously good looking guys, instead of the ugly ones." or "Hungry? Grab a Collin". These fliers won many a ballot but we had more up our sleeves. Timothy suggested a dance party for the students. We agreed and at 8am we gathered in shirt and tie for a sophisticated ballet of mojo. The sidewalk was covered with spectators on their way to classes cheering as we united our cause to the rhythm of Ice Ice Baby and Hey Yah. Many other marketing techniques were used however our greatest weapon was our friendship. The unity of this deep relationship not only bonds the individuals that take part in it but also pulses into nearby humans and animals who notice the goodness and gracious of it. And so the student body united with us and under us.
Something that worried us was that one of us would be left out, for only three could enter into the convent of the Senate and there were 9 others competing against us. We could only hope that the friendship that brought us together would actually bring us through this race together. And when the bell finally rang it tolled for us, the amigos, the trinity of Trinity dorm, the boys from the hood, the Cinderellas of Stuebenville, the Triumvirate.
Now that you know were I came from and how that title was bestowed upon me I will take my leave once again. That is how I became a senator. As I left my home of Franciscan I left with the title Former Senator as an honor bestowed on fallen warriors and brothers in arms. I hope one day everyone may know the bond between man and friend as I did in the school year of 2005-2006.

Yours truely,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark the III