Creation and Such

I love the creation story! It offers and explanation for why we are the way we are and what is written on our hearts that we want to turn into, what we want to become.
The first sin of Adam and Eve is like every other sin committed by man. It is about choosing ourselves over God and others. It is selfishness. It is about taking rather than giving. Adam and Eve started out perfectly made. They lived the life that God had created for them. There was no other way for them to know how to live until Satan introduced them to the idea that God was deceiving them. It is so sad to see them fall into sin. It is sad to see anyone be less than what God created us to be. It is so sad that after being created and loved by a perfect being, Adam and Eve betray that love and turn to something that isn't as good, turn to love themselves and only trust themselves rather than the creator who made them. I realize that friends around me are falling into the same trap and it it really saddens me. Then I realize that the people looking out for me see me falling into that trap every time I sin. I wonder how hurt they are to see me ruin myself more. Then I wonder What God must feel like when I turn away from Him although His arms are open offering a perfect love.
Jesus, thank you for always being there with the full intention of bringing me to full happiness in You. Help me and my friends and family realize the beauty of Your love and the happiness and fulfillment that comes from it. No sinful moment is worth turning from You, Perfect One. You are so beautiful Lord. Life fits within Your law and I want to drop every worldly thing to make sure I reach the fullness of the creation that You made me to be. In the words of Natasha Bedingfield, "I love You, I love You, I love You".
Amen

Prayer:

Hello Readers and everyone else listening to the person reading this blog out loud,

It seems that there is some change in the wind on The Former Senator’s Blog. Recently Professor Michael Barber has asked his students to prepare a short, mental dissection on prayer. And because I admire this particular Professor of Theology and Catholic Thought I have decided to obey, also because I want to get an A or A+. Anyway these posts will be happening a lot, this one about prayer. Unlike my other posts I will pledge seriousness out of necessity of A.

I have often defined prayer as communication between God and man. After reading The CCC I have divulged a new definition, “Prayer is raising of one’s mind and heart to God or the requesting of good things from God.” I guess that my original definition was correct, however the Catechism expounds on it. After reading the selections Professor Barber gave us I was surprised by the new knowledge I had found besides the definition of prayer.

For instance, I was excited to see the progression of prayer through the Bible. Prayer, also defined by the CCC to be “search of God”, seems to me to be not necessary for Adam and Eve. Because if Adam and Eve were perfect and in full communion with God as God intended then why would then need to search for Him. Until the fall they were “good”. From there prayer starts very simply. One of Abraham’s first prayers according to the Catechism was building an alter. This was a prayer of action, which reminds me of a Saint Francis quote, “Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary use words.” Then Jacob wrestles with an unnamed being who blesses him. Jacob’s prayer did not take on words, but did come into closer physical contact with God. Moses encounters God in the form of a burning bush and then on top of mountains. His prayers seem like a conversation between himself and God. The idea that came to mind and that I am trying to explain is that God might have evolved prayer as He grew His people. It also seems to me that God can encounter His sons and daughters in different ways according to the way in which He created them.

Also another interesting thought that came up in my readings is that prayer was first made as an essential action in man much like breathing. To stay physically alive one must breathe and eat and so on. To stay spiritually alive one must pray. That is why Adam and Eve died when they ate of the fruit of the tree. Prayer was suppose to be easy and natural to humanity, now it is a struggle for us to pray since the fall. To get back to where we were spiritually in Eden, we need o be in prayer constantly. But besides prayer we need something else to live. “Unless you eat the flesh of the son of man and drink his blood you shall have no life within you.” I think Jesus is talking about a spiritual death here.

I was forwarded a striking statement from Pro. Barber’s freshmen class, something to the effect of, “Abortion is a horrible thing, but at least they still have their souls intact. However the millions of teenagers who look at pornography may still have their earthly life, but their souls are dead.” That statement reminds me of the where my focus should be in the short life I have. Sometimes I forget where I could end up if I died, and I certainly forget the beauty and fullness of heaven as well. How wonderful it must be to experience the Lord for a minute? I can remember times in the past where my relationship with God was much stronger and my prayers were more meaningful and plentiful, and I remember the beauty of life and the joy and grace that entered my into heart. I can only imagine that sort of feeling of God’s presence forever. To know that I can reach closer to that peace and joy by prayer at any moment is encouraging to me, so I am going to stop typing and go appreciate the beautiful life God has blessed me with and raise my mind and heart to God.

A Story of a Senator

Recently one of my fans asked me a very personal question, why am I known by the world as the "Former Senator". As a gift to the audience, and this will only happen once, I will tell a actual true story about how I came to be where I am today.
After my conversion to the Catholic Church I attended Franciscan University of Steubenville in Ohio. Upon my first week I met some very strange but interesting characters. Patrick Mansfield was to be my roommate or "dorm partner" as we fondly called each other. He was a tall handsome gentleman from New Orleans , Louisiana. He was known to be quite the lady's man and at the time of his most complete masculinity he was known to sport a mustache.
Another jolly fellow was Timothy Danahar. Though many thought him a lunatic I saw through the invisible barrier of stupidity and understood the brilliance of the knightly hero. Responsible for assembling massive numbers to join local affiliations Danahar kept a stormy reputation as a public defender of the learned and as a robust consultant for gathering troops for our many escapees.
Like all great fellowships our homely gang needed an adventure of sorts to bring ourselves to legendary fulfillment. We happened upon our great adventure on the first Friday of our friendship. A poster was presented to our eyes on one of our daily strolls through the campus. The flier said, "Calling all gentlemen and ladies, the Senate is in need of brave souls to contest the wrath of President Patrick Reis." (JP students may know him as the friend of Martin Harold who came to visit him in the 1st semester of JPCU history). Being honorable men of heart we heeded the call and formed the Triumvirate Squad of Destiny. We modeled ourselves after the great Roman Emperors giving ourselves patron names of Julius Caesar, Octavius, and Pompeii. For the sake of political liberty and the lives of the Franciscan Student Body we ran the race and waged war against our opponents.
We used a variety of methods and tactics against our opponents. And I must say that we used everything we could to our advantage, for although these other candidates had good intentions ours were more important and better. We used the simple fliers and posters, but added a touch of political humor and intellectual philosophies to win the majority vote. Such sayings as "I was born in the eighties so vote for me ladies" and "Three heads are better than one" along with some cultural references from Zoolander "Vote for the really really really ridiculously good looking guys, instead of the ugly ones." or "Hungry? Grab a Collin". These fliers won many a ballot but we had more up our sleeves. Timothy suggested a dance party for the students. We agreed and at 8am we gathered in shirt and tie for a sophisticated ballet of mojo. The sidewalk was covered with spectators on their way to classes cheering as we united our cause to the rhythm of Ice Ice Baby and Hey Yah. Many other marketing techniques were used however our greatest weapon was our friendship. The unity of this deep relationship not only bonds the individuals that take part in it but also pulses into nearby humans and animals who notice the goodness and gracious of it. And so the student body united with us and under us.
Something that worried us was that one of us would be left out, for only three could enter into the convent of the Senate and there were 9 others competing against us. We could only hope that the friendship that brought us together would actually bring us through this race together. And when the bell finally rang it tolled for us, the amigos, the trinity of Trinity dorm, the boys from the hood, the Cinderellas of Stuebenville, the Triumvirate.
Now that you know were I came from and how that title was bestowed upon me I will take my leave once again. That is how I became a senator. As I left my home of Franciscan I left with the title Former Senator as an honor bestowed on fallen warriors and brothers in arms. I hope one day everyone may know the bond between man and friend as I did in the school year of 2005-2006.

Yours truely,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark the III

Coconuts

Coconuts are a large nut normally found in the South African coastal caves. No one knows on what they grow, however sources have seen them falling from ceiling caverns in the coastal rock caves. Tens of hundreds of coconuts are washed ashore on islands around the world. They are then captured and shipped to grocery stores. With this wealth of knowledge before you, you may be asking the same question that I am thinking. Where do coconuts actually come from?

The key here is the crevasses in the caverns in the coastal rock caves. The coconuts fall from these crevasses creating hollow noises and grinding sounds as they hit the stone and marble cavern floors. These noises echo out of the caves hitting the ocean waters. This answers one of the biggest and largest questions of our times. Where do waves come from? They come from the echoes children, they come from the echoes of the first coconuts to ever exist ever.

Can I prove to the world where coconuts come from? No, no I can't prove anything. I can't prove coconuts fall from cracks in South African caverns, I can't prove that there are crevasses in those caverns, and I can't prove that those caverns are actually in caves. But you know what else, I can't prove that Santa Claus is real either, but that doesn't stop us from believing does it. No, it doesn't. I can put all the chips on the table and all the eggs in the basket but you still have to choose whether you want to believe or not. Now this isn't Texas Hold'm, but if it was then I'd be all in.

Sincerely,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark III

Lazers: Their Problems and Coolness

Lazers have been around since the early middle ages. Their first known use was by King Richard of Hungry in the Battle of Los Arroz also known as The Day of the Corn. The King was under siege by his arch rival Sir Robin the Crow, a former senator turned turn coat. Sir Robin had constructed a large turtle made of bronze and coconut shells to use as a ramming device against the southwest corner of the castle.

lazers killing people in the movie "The Day of the Corn"

For four florescently moonlight nights the besieged suffered heavy losses one of whom was his wizard Dumbaldat who fell off the front of the castle from a shockingly large smack from the giant turtle. King Richard then pulled out his wand and preformed the killing curse, Avanaka, upon the hold army of bad guys killing them all, this was the first lazerized weapon ever. Sources tell us that he buried his wizard friend in a white tomb and mermaids sang at the funeral.

But lazers didn't just appear. We all know that lazers are used safely in every household for more than a century. Without them daily life could not go on without them. That would be tough.

Micheal Barber lazering things in his theology laboratory

Although we see them everywhere in our cars, in our fish tanks (Finding Nemo), our fossil fuels, or even unnoticed in our flashlights there are still unanswered mysteries surrounding lazers. Why do they kick butt? Who isn't the best? And what are they made of? Probably the biggest question is Why people don't run away in lazer tag when they are hit by them.


Industry Corps Press is a large company dealing with a large problem. How to make people run from lazers that don't kill.

What if you were suddenly surrounded by men with lazer guns and they all started shooting you. However they are toy guns not real ones. And say while playing with the toys the toymaker (aka someone hairy( not Harry as in Harry Potter (a book I just read( I being the hairy someone) ) ) ) wanted the lazers hitting your body to intiese (In-Tie-ssss) you to run away from the lazer toys and their wielders.

Solution #1
They are real lazers that kill people!

Solution #2
They aren't harmful lazers, but they do lock up joints in the victims playsuit causeing not movement in that particular area.

Solution #3
They cause a buzzing sensation like the one Steve Marshall experienced when he was at the toy store in North Carolina and screamed like a little girl upon being buzzed at by someone hairy.

Solution #4
The lazers turn people into zombies, not just when they hit victims but also randomly turning people into zombies just because they exist.

Solution #1 and #2 are either too expensive or immoral to be any fun, because spending money is not fun and neither is killing people. Solution #4 is cool, however it would be a lot cooler if the toys were around dinosaurs.

So the obvious solution is Solution #3.

Forever,
Former Senator Collin Augustus Clark III

All We Have Is Love

This is a true story:

Two young men where outside of the market place talking to a yippy puppy, named MaryPat. The men's names were Mario and Luigi. They were awaiting their ogre, Matt, to return from his shopping spree. As they waited a voice came from behind the wooden carts, "Ah, the leprechauns." Mario and Luigi we stunned, while the puppy always had a surprised look on its face since anything but strawberries surprises it. Needless to say, supriseness was happening.
A man appeared from behind the the wooden carts. He was a big, gross man, more like a troll than a human. Mario turn to Luigi and said under his breath
"He smells like a old shoes after you've mopped the floor of sweat."
"Yes." said Luigi.
The man stumbled toward the mustache men and yippy dog. He was drooling acid from his flimsy, toothless mouth.
"I am a Mexican. I am an Orick." he said.
"AN Orick!!!," exclaimed the little yippy dog.
"Yes I am, and I want to give you all hugs".
Seeing that his friends were not excited about getting hugs from the smelly mexican orick, Luigi stepped into his path recieveing the first giant hug. The orick smelled like a rotting pumpkin that collapsed on itself while sitting on some college kid's back porch and felt like it too. After about five minute of pain and punctual scents the orick let go of Luigi. Luigi's friends sat in horror as Luigi fell to the ground shivering and covered in an orange ooze. The orick then set his sights on the yippy dog but right when it was about to wra[ his grossly deformed arms around the poor thing Luigi stood between them and said with a grimace.
"How about another daddy O!"
The orick then spread his arms wide and closed them tightly on Luigi. Luigi with much effort slipped from the oozy embrace and took a couple steps away from his friends.
"How about another!"
The orick then moved toward him a gave Luigi another hug. Then Luigi did something unpresidented, he slipped out again! This continued for about ten minutes until both the orick and Luigi were both exhausted and standing at the edge of the historic Mount Olympus cliff face. Luigi had his back toward the edge while the monster was moving in for his final monsterous monsterousity of a hug. The monster loomed over him and his arms opened wide. The monster was so close Luigi could taste the pimples that pussed from its armpits. (Luigi would like the audiance to know that the puss didn't taste so bad, kinda like baklava. Baklava of course refering to lava off of the back of a lava monster that tastes something like poo.) Anyway he tasted it and it was gross. The arms started moving in and Luigi could hear the orick's arm bones groaning and cracking with effort. Luigi knew there was only one thing to do, it had only been done in overtime in the finals of the world tournament of Quittdich 1952 and now it was about to be done again.
Luigi threw his arms up in the air. As they were flying upwards they drew the attention of the orick. Big mistake! Time slowed down as the arms soared into the air separated from Luigi's body. Mario's mustache slowly floated to the ground in awe and the yippy dog stopped yipping. Luigi now armless, flung himself in a daring spiral under the orick's legs. The orick turned and looked down at Luigi who was know covered in mud and orange slime. Luigi smiled like a crafty fox who knew he had won a pot of gold from a American. The orick stunned that the likes of him would be destroyed was even more stunned when Luigi's arms came down upon his neck in a prefect two handed chop that would have made Chipper Jones proud. The orick fell. The groung shook from the weight of the mexican man/troll. I shook so much that the whole world felt it and were sad. The cliff edge cracked and crackled. Mario and Luigi stared at each other in horror. Luigi ran as fast as he could without arms away from the beast and certian death. But Mario ran toward the unconscious being.
"What are you doing!" screamed Luigi.
" I'm giving you a hand!''
Then Mario jumped on the orick and grabbed the limbs of his friend as they both disappeared from the yippy dog and Luigi's view.
"NOOO!!!!" Luigi said.
"YIPPPP!!!!" Said the dog.

The two friends sat. They sat hoplessly looking at the cliff edge of the gods.
"Why?! MOUNT OLYMPUS!! WHY?!" Said Luigi
No answer came. It has been said that mountains can't talk, nor can yippy dogs, but people have also said that a orick couldn't be knocked unconscious from a double karate chop. And they were about to be proved wrong again. OLYMPUS spoke. Spoke in a deep, powerful voice that would have defied kings from their thrones and the sea from its bed.
"Why not Luigi?"

Luigi was in awe. The yippy dog stared at the mountain peak as a shimmering light came down from above. A figure appeared in the blindingness. Luigi turned into the light and out of it appeared Mario. However Luigi's arms weren't in his hands, they were attached under each of his arms. Luigi's arms were no longer his.
"Don't cry Luigi." said Mario in a soft voice. "We always knew this was going to happen."
"Yes, we did. But it is still hard. I miss them."
"I know, I know. Come here and let me stroke your mustache with them, they miss you too."
Then Luigi moved toward Mario's outreached new hands. They stroked the thick mustache that they would be forever separated from. Then they parted. Mario and Luigi had many other adventures with each other and their friend the yippy dog. But for now....

THE END

Laziness and Potential

Okay so I'm really lazy and the things that i want to do or become I don't because I'd rather wait till tomorrow. That sucks. It is so depressing. I sit around and whenever I think about the work that I have to do I get upset and feel sorry for myself. It is so pathetic. But God is so beautiful and wonderful, because He has given me so much potential. I realized this while I was sitting in my cut offs getting depressed about homework and other things. "I have potential" I can be anything I want to become, except a woman. So instead of whining and feeling sorry for myself I did 25 push ups, opened my blog up again, started Derry Connolly homework, and will do another 25 push ups right now!!! Bam just did umm at 3:41 AM. It feels good! I feel better about myself and I'm happier with who I am!!! Praise God!!! I'm not even kidding.
Thank you Jesus for giving me the potential to be something better than what I am now. Thank you some much for the grace to get up off my ass even for just a moment to become who I wanna become. I have so much more hope now. Homework doesn't seem that impossible anymore. Thank you God!!!